This March has been such a busy “superwoman” month for me. (Not always my favorite mode to be in, but sometimes it is necessary in this current paradigm, if I want things to get done.) I’ve been so busy doing the most, that I haven’t had the opportunity to talk about women’s herstory/theystory month or endometriosis awareness month; let alone take some much needed downtime by myself. Don’t worry, that is getting rectified this very weekend. I can’t teach it, if I can’t be it.
Even when we don’t want to, even when we are depleted, womxn and femmes, Black Indigenous and People of Color (BIPOC) queer and trans intersex folks, empaths and intuitives, end up having to be super emotionally “strong” and supportive for our families, lovers, friends and communities, while hiding our own pain. It is more systemic and less individual than many people realize. It takes courage, stamina, will and radical self-love, to break free from what is expected of us and often thrust upon us. It takes ancestral wisdom and self-trust to break free from the historic responsibility placed on us - by way of colonization industrialization and rampant individualism.
I have experienced the pain, horrors and surgical consequences of endometriosis for 16 years (off and on) before I finally ended up with a major quality of life issue that ended in removing my uterus and an ovary etc. Western medicine has finally been doing extensive research, in the past decade, to address this people with uterus’ issue. Research has shown that Endometriosis affects an estimated 1 in 10 women which doesn’t even include all people with a uterus, so that number may be higher.
So, why am I talking about endometriosis?Because to me, endometriosis is a symptom of the historical legacy of oppression, white supremacy, colonization and hatred of womxn all around the world. It’s about womxn and femmes having to hold everyone’s pain, hatred, heartbreak, wellness, healing and growth in their bodies. The imbalance has become detrimental to our wellbeing. The most recent events of the 6 Asian women, possibly sex workers who were killed in Atlanta is a very real and sobering example of this hatred of women -.especially BIPOC womxn.
Instead of the compulsory impulse to take on everyone else’s pain, womxn and femmes must put our emotional, mental and physical health and wellness first. Practice living with what that freedom feels like in our bodies and then find the balance in it as we relate to all sexes and genders family and society. But it is not just on us. It is imperative that BIPOC with masculine of center and gender privileged identities learn to see, feel, address and heal their own unaddressed emotional pain and grief and trauma. This is how they can help restore balance. Everyone must take accountability and responsibility.
Womxn and femmes can no longer afford to take all of the worlds pain, hate, sadness and fear inside of our bodies and leave it there to rot and wilt, decompose and putrefy. This role has been an unconscious habit of ours. It was taught, on purpose, to women and femmes early on in our human training and socialization. Our feminine energy was corrupted, perverted, demonized and essentialized. While our masculine energy was ridiculed, criticized shamed and rendered invisible.
This Womxn’s History Month is more than about our history/herstory/theystory it is about our humanity, our ancestry, our wellness. It is about our healing, our power within, our time to heal ourselves, our radical self-intimacy, and bringing our magic and wisdom to the forefront.
Dis-eases like endometriosis, fibroids, breast cancer, heart disease and even covid are physical manifestations of oppression, repression and collective trauma. We must do the inner and outer work to release the inflammatory impact of white supremacy on our energy bodies. Now is the time for us to re-connect to our individual and collective magic and medicine for the spiritual and sexual revolution of our humxn evolution! Asé
Maisha Aza, MSW, CMT, Tantric Shaman
Black Girl Tantra, LLC