Pleasure comes in all forms. From leaning into our sensory pleasures, to fulfilling our heart’s and body’s desires, to fulfilling our secret fantasies, to spending time with our loved ones, enjoying our daily rituals or fun getaways that help us feel rejuvenated.
Pleasure is so much more expansive than just genital arousal. Even though it is often the first thing that pops into many people’s minds when you speak the word. Pleasure begins in the mind and has the potential to spread throughout the whole physical and energetic body. And it can begin with literally anything that stimulates the brain’s pleasure center.
Pleasure is different for every-body and changes as we change
Pleasure isn’t always immediate gratification like we are used to, in our westernized culture. It might last longer and be more pleasurable, if we allowed it to be a slow build, and savored it more.
When I work with new clients, the misunderstanding can be that we will get to the “pleasure” immediately. There is the assumption that “pleasure equals genital arousal”. But we are human and our bodies come with old pain and old habits, so sessions are purposefully a slow build.
Intimacy is the pleasure portal between one or more people. That is what makes it all the more important to take it slow.
If you took my 7 principles of erotic embodiment class, you know that Black Girl Tantra’s second principle of erotic embodiment is, “slow down and then slow down some more.”
Slowing down is one of the most challenging things for most of us to do, in this fast-paced, instant-results, hyper-productive world in which most of us live. But it is not impossible.
It takes only practice, time and intention.
When we begin sessions, we start with where your body wants to go, which is often at a much slower pace than where your mind wants to go; and sometimes it’s the reverse. As sessions continue, we learn to become keenly aware of what our body’s are telling us. We figure it out together. The key is to breathe, and wait for alignment between the two.
It’s all in service to your intention
As we begin to pay more attention to what our bodies are truly ready for, we allow ourselves to listen to our body’s feelings, and sensations more consistently so that we can be in consent in the moment, vs where we thought we wanted to go.
This gives our body’s time to align with our minds, which is generally somewhere in the future. This future is the intention. But in this moment, when we are face to face, body to body, what is on the table is your authenticity, your emotions, your current feelings and sensations. Which give us so much potent information. What emerges first is what must be addressed, nurtured and tended to - before taking the next step.
It is all in service to your initial intention.
For instance, if your intention is to become multi-orgasmic, we are going to begin with what might be in the way of you being multi-orgasmic, rather than jumping into superficial sensations geared toward completing your goal, like an item on a list to be checked off. That mindset is often a contributor to what’s in the way in the first place.
The goal is not the destination, the journey is. And what a fun collaborative, co-creative journey it is! When you may finally give yourself permission to slow down, be intentional, be intimate and allow connection, it can surprisingly bring you to the place you’ve always wanted to arrive.
And you may begin to notice the awe inspiring views along the way. You may realize how beautiful and joyous your erotic landscape truly is! You take it all in. You decide that you are worth the full breadth of your entire erotic experience - from beginning (your curiosity), to middle (where your hidden emotions live and want release), to end (goal) and back to the beginning (curiosity) of your pleasure again.
Your erotic landscape
Prioritizing our pleasure does not have to wait until we are forced to take ourselves on vacation in order to escape the drama of our lives.
Prioritizing ourselves, and our pleasure requires us to be present with our desires each day, in each moment, in all of the ways. This is what gives us access to more pleasure and the ability to savor it when it comes.
How do you savor your daily, weekly, monthly pleasures when they come?
My answer? I like to Moan.
vocalizing increases my pleasure, makes it last longer and helps me stay in my body for the whole thing!
When do you give yourself permission to slow down, be intentional and intimate with your own needs, for your pleasure?
Black Girl Tantra’s sessions, workshops, retreats and trainings are beyond this world!
Due to high demand, we are currently accepting new, private clients on a waitlist basis. Please complete this form to be notified when space becomes available. Click the link above if you would like to be added to the waitlist for private sessions with Black Girl Tantra.
