HOW BIG IS YOUR ENERGY?

Greetings and salutations dear community. As you know, the world has gone to hell in a hand basket - just as Octavia predicted. This fiery sunset feels indicative of these times. I know it feels like the end but it is the beginning of our uprising! This is the time to strap-in, strap-on and phuck the white-supremacist, hetero-patriarchy/autocracy with our gifts, talents, protests, resistance, medicine, magic; and our individual and collective freedom!

To keep on living, thriving, flourishing and accessing our pleasure amidst all of this oppression and repression, is no small thing! It is revolutionary! Our ancestors did it and so will we!

(Keep reading to the end, to learn about my upcoming events)

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I’m realizing, now more than ever, how important it is for me to offer my calling in larger ways. I’ve been playing small and have no more time to live in fear. I have always felt that everyone who had a similar calling as mine, was better at it than me. So, there are ways that I have stayed small, when it came to sharing my work - sharing me. This was due to imposter syndrome and my history with trauma. But truth be told, I have always had BIG BIG energy; and erotic, sex-positive, spaces are where my big energy was always accepted. And I have always been that accepting, affirming, non-judgmental space for others. Now, I finally accept myself! That’s what my ancestors have been waiting for! And they are dancing, with so much joy and elation!

I’ve been a purposeful healer for almost 30 years now, 28 to be exact. I’ve been an activist and an artist for even longer. For me, art is activism and resistance. Healing is activism. My sexual healing work, shamanic work and my existence has been and continues to be activism. I have been freeing and healing myself, and other minds, bodies and spirits, as a conscious calling, since 1997. And I’m here to shine the light on it!

Last weekend, on the last day of Pride month, I was invited to facilitate a meditation to kick off a pride, mini-retreat for rest play and freedom, at D. Windsong Retreat Space just outside of Atlanta. I was so excited to offer my Moaning Mediation as a part of this collaboration, and got to enjoy all of the natural, holistic and playful offerings of the day. I saw old and new faces, and it is always so enlivening to share space with black, queer community right here in Atlanta. It’s home for me.

Below are some workshops & retreats where you can access your big energy and stop playing small. where you can get hands-on, erotic embodiment, neo-tantric and moaning experiences, check out my workshops as well as collaborations in the coming months…

September 2 & 3, 2025 - Atlanta, GA

Join me and my team, as I Facilitate, “Moaning Through the Chakras” a two-day Intensive at Sex Down South 2025 (SDSCon25) . This is a pre-conference intensive Black Girl Tantra workshop, held at the SDS Host Hotel. (For both conference and non-conference participants)

*this is a clothing-on event that is a Black/Global majority centered space

*This is a 101 level class

For 20% off a SDS “enthusiast ticket, please support this collaboration by using the code: “BlackGirlTantra”

September 18-21, 2025 - Portland, Maine

Join Suzanne Blackburn and myself as we co-facilitate a 3.5 day Celebrating the Body Erotic for women + gender expansive folks , in Portland, Maine. Brought to you by the Body Electric School. This is a beginner to intermediate workshop.

*This is a clothing-optional event and is non-residential

*This event is NOT black/global majority centered - If you’re feeling brave, come out and support me as I co-facilitate my first body electric class as an emerging faculty member. Looking forward to Maine’s fall foliage.

*This class is for brave beginners and seasoned seekers

We also want to invite you to our free informational session on Zoom July 9th 7-8 pm EST.  You can register for that here. (Sadly, I won’t be at the informational, due to an unforseen conflict, but you will be in good hands - email me if you have specific questions for me.)

November 4-9, 2025 - Greenwich, NY

I have been invited to be a part of Barbara Carrellas’ team at her signature “Urban Tantra® Professional Certification Program” This is a residential program at Easton Mountain, a serene, gay retreat center in Greenwich NY, open to all.

*this is a clothing-optional, sex, gender & sexuality inclusive event

*this is program is for brave practitioners and curious creatives looking to expand, deepen or enhance their practice or bring bold neo-tantra practices into their personal lives Come join me at this beautiful, Upstate New York clothing optional retreat space full of love.

*This is NOT a black/global majority centered space And you know, wherever we show up, we change the space. If you’re ready to take your professional, erotic embodiment skills to the next level, join us.

in What ways have you noticed that you’ve been playing small?

Well, you’re officially invited to join me in a space where you can unleash your BIG BIG energy! There is no time like the present!

If you’re interested in 101 programming please email us, to let us know what kinds of Tantric and Shamanic skills and practices you’re curious about, and would be interested in learning from Black Girl Tantra.

Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter below to stay up on events.

How to begin your pleasure journey

Pleasure comes in all forms. From leaning into our sensory pleasures, to fulfilling our heart’s and body’s desires, to fulfilling our secret fantasies, to spending time with our loved ones, enjoying our daily rituals or fun getaways that help us feel rejuvenated.

Pleasure is so much more expansive than just genital arousal. Even though it is often the first thing that pops into many people’s minds when you speak the word. Pleasure begins in the mind and has the potential to spread throughout the whole physical and energetic body. And it can begin with literally anything that stimulates the brain’s pleasure center.

Pleasure is different for every-body and changes as we change

Pleasure isn’t always immediate gratification like we are used to, in our westernized culture. It might last longer and be more pleasurable, if we allowed it to be a slow build, and savored it more.

When I work with new clients, the misunderstanding can be that we will get to the “pleasure” immediately. There is the assumption that “pleasure equals genital arousal”. But we are human and our bodies come with old pain and old habits, so sessions are purposefully a slow build.

Intimacy is the pleasure portal between one or more people. That is what makes it all the more important to take it slow.

If you took my 7 principles of erotic embodiment class, you know that Black Girl Tantra’s second principle of erotic embodiment is, “slow down and then slow down some more.”

Slowing down is one of the most challenging things for most of us to do, in this fast-paced, instant-results, hyper-productive world in which most of us live. But it is not impossible.

It takes only practice, time and intention.

When we begin sessions, we start with where your body wants to go, which is often at a much slower pace than where your mind wants to go; and sometimes it’s the reverse. As sessions continue, we learn to become keenly aware of what our body’s are telling us. We figure it out together. The key is to breathe, and wait for alignment between the two.

It’s all in service to your intention

As we begin to pay more attention to what our bodies are truly ready for, we allow ourselves to listen to our body’s feelings, and sensations more consistently so that we can be in consent in the moment, vs where we thought we wanted to go.

This gives our body’s time to align with our minds, which is generally somewhere in the future. This future is the intention. But in this moment, when we are face to face, body to body, what is on the table is your authenticity, your emotions, your current feelings and sensations. Which give us so much potent information. What emerges first is what must be addressed, nurtured and tended to - before taking the next step.

It is all in service to your initial intention.

For instance, if your intention is to become multi-orgasmic, we are going to begin with what might be in the way of you being multi-orgasmic, rather than jumping into superficial sensations geared toward completing your goal, like an item on a list to be checked off. That mindset is often a contributor to what’s in the way in the first place.

The goal is not the destination, the journey is. And what a fun collaborative, co-creative journey it is! When you may finally give yourself permission to slow down, be intentional, be intimate and allow connection, it can surprisingly bring you to the place you’ve always wanted to arrive.

And you may begin to notice the awe inspiring views along the way. You may realize how beautiful and joyous your erotic landscape truly is! You take it all in. You decide that you are worth the full breadth of your entire erotic experience - from beginning (your curiosity), to middle (where your hidden emotions live and want release), to end (goal) and back to the beginning (curiosity) of your pleasure again.

Your erotic landscape

Prioritizing our pleasure does not have to wait until we are forced to take ourselves on vacation in order to escape the drama of our lives.

Prioritizing ourselves, and our pleasure requires us to be present with our desires each day, in each moment, in all of the ways. This is what gives us access to more pleasure and the ability to savor it when it comes.

How do you savor your daily, weekly, monthly pleasures when they come?

My answer? I like to Moan.

vocalizing increases my pleasure, makes it last longer and helps me stay in my body for the whole thing!

When do you give yourself permission to slow down, be intentional and intimate with your own needs, for your pleasure?

Black Girl Tantra’s sessions, workshops, retreats and trainings are beyond this world!

Due to high demand, we are currently accepting new, private clients on a waitlist basis. Please complete this form to be notified when space becomes available. Click the link above if you would like to be added to the waitlist for private sessions with Black Girl Tantra.

Living A Purposeful Life

There’s no one I know who isn’t going through some major changes in their lives right now. Both personal and political/societal. Each informs and impacts the other. 

At these times, I dive even deeper into my daily practices.

I typically pull one oracle card each morning and meditate on what the card initially says to me (without reading what is in the corresponding book until after I’ve already felt into it).

I then practice my yoga, qi gong or both, and take a walk outside in the fresh air.

This grounds me in my body and helps me start my day. This mind, body and spirit connection is a practice that steadies me, whether I do one or all of these practices in a day.

These days I am leaning more into, not only self-care but into receiving nurture, care, support and comfort from others. I realize, now more than ever, that I do need others and that I can be vulnerable with the people with whom it is safe to do that.

For someone like me, who was raised to be independent, but to prioritize others’ feelings, emotions and comfort over my own, this has been quite challenging, although not impossible.

Today is a new day, and I’m up for the task of living my right life and no longer sacrificing myself for the collective. I am finding the balance in being interdependent with others and well-resourced, in my own skin so that I can be of service from an overflowing cup.

I am giving others the opportunity to practice stepping up to their tasks, rather than me falling into the habit of doing it for them. Recognizing that, my taking over can take away others’ agency and their ability to problem solve for themselves.

When I prioritize my own health and wellness I get to be more collaborative with others, rather than co-dependent.

In that vein, as I prioritize myself, my wellbeing and my passion, I am ready to concentrate on creating some new Black Girl Tantra community offerings.

Therefore, I will not be accepting new “individual” or “couple” clients at this time. I feel grateful to have an abundance of clients and opportunities at this time.

If you have been on the fence about becoming a client and feel called to become one, feel free to reach out before the end of the week, to be added to my waitlist.

Looking forward to showing you what’s cooking soon. 

Until then, what body, mind and spirit practices do you have that steady you and help bring purpose and passion to your day?

My Black Body My Black Life . How Will You Live Your Erotic Life?

Hello loves, how are you navigating these times?

My hope is that you stay encouraged and vigilant about living your life on your own terms now more than ever.

As I feel into the energy of this Black History Month and Body Awareness Month, I think about my own black body. 

I’m in a black body so my body awareness comes at a major cost. 

I was born in a body assigned female at birth, so my body consciousness comes at a cost.  

I inhabit a fat body so my body awareness empathy and compassion for others comes at a cost.

And I still embody Art as Activism.

I get projected upon in every way that you can think of and receive really strong reactions from people I don’t even know. I have had to learn that these reactions say more about the people that have them than they do about me.

These are the things people see when they first meet me. I can’t turn it off, escape it or change it within 30 seconds, and I also don’t wish to. Over my lifetime, I have learned to be comfortable and feel free in my body at every stage of its existence.

My rebellious and revolutionary body is here to share what I know about loving my body in its fullness, living on purpose rather than by default, and feeling free even when the stakes are high. If I can do it in a body that most people secretly fear and many outwardly hate, I know that you can do it. I believe in you as I believe in me.

As a fat, black, queer girl living in a world that treats me indifferently at best and like a pariah at worst, I have had an uphill climb (like many who look like me) to embrace every part of myself from top to bottom and inside out.

I realize being conscious/mindful of all that is going on around me is a difficult road to choose. It is a rough and wild ride, and a challenging existence indeed. But for me and my life path, it is a necessary existence. I've already seen things that I cannot unsee, felt experiences that I cannot unfeel and more importantly, learned lessons that I am now grateful to have learned about myself and humanity. 

To face trauma that lives in the mind, body and soul, to feel emotional and physical pain intensely, to access grief, to deepen self-intimacy and pleasure, is a multi-dimensional path and an Erotically embodied experience.

It is enlivening, ecstatic, generative, unpredictable, chaotic, engaging, beautiful, emotional, and orgasmic. You unlock all of the doors to freedom, not just the ones you want, but also the ones you need. 

It’s all a part of being both human and spirit - being conscious, having choice, loving and living in our non-dualism, free from the binary, expansive and non-linear seeing the whole spectrum of our light.

What truths are you ready to see about yourself and your erotic body? 

How do you want to live your erotic life? 

What do I mean by Erotic? By Erotic, I mean your life force energy, the energy deep within you, that when tapped into consciously, ignites your ability to thrive and feel most alive!

Live A Life ALIVE.

Hi Black Girl Tantra Fam…

I was all set to write about Black History Month and Body Awareness month. Two of my favorite things to talk about. But I am sitting here in a space of deep reflection as my friends and I mourn the physical loss of a beloved community member. His presence is already missed.

Burrel Edward Graves

August 12, 1965-January 20, 2025

I’m in appreciation of how we all came together here in Atlanta, to support the folks closest to him and how important times like these are. And most importantly, how short this current life we have to live, truly is.

Life is too short to worry about what people think, how they will see you or what they will do or say behind your back or in front of it.  Life is too short to be “right” all the time or to be “perfect”. What matters is that you lived and that you connected with others you call family, beloveds, loved ones… humanity. 

I am still living and breathing. So, while there is still life left in my body, I’m going to keep doing what brings me the most joy, and what feeds my deepest purpose and hearts desire.

 And I’m gonna keep loving on the folks who mean the world to me and let them love me back.

As a medical social worker, I have worked in the death and dying field.  I worked in both Chicago and Georgia, in adult and Children’s hospitals and in hospice. I served people with both terminal and chronic illnesses, as well as their families.

I’ve seen quite a bit. And what I have seen is that the human body is fascinating and our bodies are deeply impacted by our physical, energetic, emotional and spiritual environment. I have seen that family still comes through in the end, so even if you cannot live with them, be loving anyway. 

One thing is for sure, death is a part of life. Our lives will end someday and we will be transformed into something else (insert your belief here). I believe that our energy and spirit lives on but that is another conversation. 

Remember that the people whose lives we’ve touched are also transformed, just from having known us. That’s the way this life works. 

So before you depart this earthly plane, what will you choose to leave in your wake just by being? 

My hope is that you have the opportunity to experience life unapologetically, with joy, gratitude and compassion - like our friend, Burrel.

Find your joy, your pleasure, your love, your anger, your rage, your softness, your sweetness, your receptivity; more movement, less movement, more me-time, more time for contemplation and rest; study a skill you’ve always wanted to learn, or do an activity you’ve often dreamed of. 

Do whatever you need to do to tap into your sense of adventure and feel most alive. I don’t care if “most alive” for you is walking to the corner store, going to an amusement park, skinny dipping, or traveling to a new country and learning a new language. Release those debilitating fears so that you can be your most authentic self. Even if your authentic self loves to talk about death and dying so that people are less afraid of it. 

There truly is no time like the present. 

Don’t do it for me or for anybody else. Do it for you. Do it now.

Live a life ALIVE! 

What Is Your Rebellion?

Greetings lovers and friends!

We’re still in January and so much has happened already! Most, if not all of us, knew this was coming. It’s the destruction that must happen as a part of the world’s transformative change (Pluto in Aquarius). It is not pretty, nor easy, but it is necessary.

The destruction and dismantling that was so desperately needed may or may not look the way we had hoped, but the end result will be the same.  The question is, what side of the transformation are you willing to fight for, and how are you willing to do that?

We all have our different ways of fighting for our humanity and right to exist; and to experience the joys and pleasures of life. Often, we do this without even realizing it. We fight for ourselves. We fight for others. We protect others. We support others. There is no one way to resist and rebel, just like there is not just one way to exist in the world.

There are infinite possibilities!

One of the many ways that I’ve been resisting is by making sure you know that your body belongs to you and no one else. That you are a sovereign being who is allowed to seek and ask for your deepest desires and fantasies, and embrace your inner child and play. Reminding you that your ancestral lineage is powerful, and that your pleasure, magic, medicine, intuition, and connection to your body’s senses are your birthright. 

I keep reminding myself of this as well. I keep thinking that we always have choice, even when the choices are limited, scary or hard. No matter how hard people try to criminalize your body, you belong here and there are still so many people out here loving you and supporting your freedom and right to live!

Whether you are living above ground or underground at this pivotal point in our-story, find and center love and your pleasure. Pleasure is a radical act of resistance and self-love!

 Another way that I am rebelling, is that I am purposefully and consciously turning my love inward and feeding it back to myself. It took me a while to find the love I had for me. It was always there, but it was turned outward for so many to receive and I sacrificed myself too often. Now that my love for me has grown deeper, my love for others is also richer. It is so nourishing, nurturing and brings with it a certain joy and brightness, and a new level of self-intimacy.

Living in my happy, fat, black, queer, non-binary femme body is an act of resistance and rebellion. And this body dares to experience and facilitate love, sensuality, and pleasure.

What is your rebellion?

What does your resistance look like?

What’s New for Black Girl Tantra in 2025?!

Before we begin, our hearts, protection spells and prayers go out to all of the beings impacted by the fires in California, and to all of the beings impacted by the great challenges around the world right now.

I’m starting 2025 off with collaborations.  I’ve been invited to join the faculty at the body electric school, my birthplace of erotic embodiment practices. My journey with them began in 2012 after I ended a significant, long-term relationship. It was a beautiful way to come back to myself and ignite my erotic power. Little did I know it would help me find my true passion.

I have always been a bridge builder between people and communities, since I can remember. I’d love for you to wish me well, and to wish us all well as we navigate the cultural challenges of today and as we remember the beauty that love can bring. Humans are going to need one another now more than ever and perhaps our humanity will be restored during this big cosmic stretch and transformational time of Pluto in Aquarius for the next 18 years.  The ultimate lesson may be for us to deeply understand that we are all in this together. 

Since re-joining the Body Electric School and joining the Urban Tantra community last year, I am finding myself booked and busy with many juicy collaborations. However, I am also making sure that I find balance and have time for my rest and rejuvenation. So, if you have been wanting to collaborate with Black Girl Tantra, I welcome these connections. Since this year is already full, free to email me if you would like to collaborate on something in 2026.

Save the date: September 18th-21st

I will be co-facilitating a celebrating the Body Erotic Workshop in Maine in September 2025.

Register here: 

I had a wonderful conversation on the Erotic Liberation Podcast with Craig Cullinane in December.

Content Warning

The podcast touches on sensitive topics including childhood sexual abuse.

Also be on the lookout for a BIPOC class this year.

And a Black Girl Tantra Workshop.

Taking my time, slow and steady, enjoying this pace.  

No matter our individual and collective struggles, we have the power to choose how we are going to live in our own bodies and live our lives even if our external choices become limited. Because as always, the personal is political.  

Nikki Giovanni, poet, activist, educator (June 7, 1943-December 9, 2024) spoke to all types of love, from self-love, to black love to universal love. She is our cultural ancestor now and her legacy of love and activism lives on. 

To add to that, I speak to the activation of love that comes from the passion and drive of our life force energy. Eros, or erotic energy is in all of us and it takes us to other dimensions. The more we harness our Eros, the more we have the power to creatively rebel in ways that transform our relationships and our society. This is how we become erotic revolutionaries!   

That’s the power of sexual freedom and erotic embodiment. The power to change ourselves and transform the world!

 

Who’s in?

The Holiday Season Is Here!

Around the world, many winter celebrations occur, and this can mean socializing with community, chosen family and/or relatives. My family has always celebrated Kwanzaa since I was a baby. Kwanzaa is a Pan-African holiday created by Dr. Maulana Karanga, an African American activist, to unite people of African Descent across the diaspora. It begins the day after Christmas, in which there are 7 principles that we celebrate over 7 days and the last day culminates on New Year’s Day (known as Imani-Faith).

Each year during my youth, the Kwanzaa celebrations were complete with African dancing, food, and vendors in large community events, or lighting the red, black, and green candles and seeing the cornucopia full of fruit at at-home celebrations with the unity cup and mat. The festivities made me feel close to my heritage, my family, and my community. The West African dances I used to perform as a child still live in my body in a beautiful way.

At home, my mother would give a Unity gift, a gift for all of us five children to share as a family, and we never missed, nor did we even know, about Christmas.

It wasn’t until my mother married my stepfather, who celebrated the secular aspects of Christmas, that we started celebrating both Christmas and Kwanzaa. Christmas in our house was fun, and I enjoyed decorating the Christmas tree and getting my own presents as a kid, then celebrating the unity aspects of Kwanzaa the next day. However, when I became an adult, Christmas became stressful with the emphasis on shopping and spending loads of money on gifts for everyone I loved, to only come out broke and in debt. I started noticing how much stress it brought for me and how competitive and individualistic the holiday became, so I stopped celebrating the material gift-giving aspect. My favorite thing about Christmas is the lights and the Christmas movies that highlight meaning, togetherness, joy, peace, faith, and magic!

These days, as an eclectic pagan or a spiritual anarchist, I celebrate in all ways that bring meaning to me. I celebrate what speaks to my deeper love and desire for connection, unity, faith and my connection to the earth, humanity, and divinity. For me, that’s Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa, and Christmas without presents - but with presence.

As we rest in winter, or celebrate the holidays, trust that your body, mind and spirit will tell you what you need to do in each moment. Whether it is to stay home and rest fully and abundantly, or whether it is to spend quality time with chosen family or relatives, or both, you get to decide and make a conscious choice to choose what will bring you the most pleasure this holiday season. You may choose to spend only a short time with family, and the rest of your time enjoying alone time.

Whatever it is, make a conscious choice and honor your personal boundaries, so that you can be in embodied consent with yourself.

With winter here, I celebrate the Winter Solstice. Others celebrate Christmas, Chanukah, and Kwanzaa. Whichever you observe, enjoy :)