Around the world, many winter celebrations occur, and this can mean socializing with community, chosen family and/or relatives. My family has always celebrated Kwanzaa since I was a baby. Kwanzaa is a Pan-African holiday created by Dr. Maulana Karanga, an African American activist, to unite people of African Descent across the diaspora. It begins the day after Christmas, in which there are 7 principles that we celebrate over 7 days and the last day culminates on New Year’s Day (known as Imani-Faith).
Each year during my youth, the Kwanzaa celebrations were complete with African dancing, food, and vendors in large community events, or lighting the red, black, and green candles and seeing the cornucopia full of fruit at at-home celebrations with the unity cup and mat. The festivities made me feel close to my heritage, my family, and my community. The West African dances I used to perform as a child still live in my body in a beautiful way.
At home, my mother would give a Unity gift, a gift for all of us five children to share as a family, and we never missed, nor did we even know, about Christmas.
It wasn’t until my mother married my stepfather, who celebrated the secular aspects of Christmas, that we started celebrating both Christmas and Kwanzaa. Christmas in our house was fun, and I enjoyed decorating the Christmas tree and getting my own presents as a kid, then celebrating the unity aspects of Kwanzaa the next day. However, when I became an adult, Christmas became stressful with the emphasis on shopping and spending loads of money on gifts for everyone I loved, to only come out broke and in debt. I started noticing how much stress it brought for me and how competitive and individualistic the holiday became, so I stopped celebrating the material gift-giving aspect. My favorite thing about Christmas is the lights and the Christmas movies that highlight meaning, togetherness, joy, peace, faith, and magic!
These days, as an eclectic pagan or a spiritual anarchist, I celebrate in all ways that bring meaning to me. I celebrate what speaks to my deeper love and desire for connection, unity, faith and my connection to the earth, humanity, and divinity. For me, that’s Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa, and Christmas without presents - but with presence.
As we rest in winter, or celebrate the holidays, trust that your body, mind and spirit will tell you what you need to do in each moment. Whether it is to stay home and rest fully and abundantly, or whether it is to spend quality time with chosen family or relatives, or both, you get to decide and make a conscious choice to choose what will bring you the most pleasure this holiday season. You may choose to spend only a short time with family, and the rest of your time enjoying alone time.
Whatever it is, make a conscious choice and honor your personal boundaries, so that you can be in embodied consent with yourself.
With winter here, I celebrate the Winter Solstice. Others celebrate Christmas, Chanukah, and Kwanzaa. Whichever you observe, enjoy :)